Joke Thread!

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

 

When we went to Cuba last year, we naturally asked our tour guide lots of questions. When the topic of poisonous animals came up, he said:

"We only have one type of poisonous snake in Cuba:

Spoiler

Mother in laws

 

I recently had a friend diagnosed with mesothelioma.

He’s hanging in there asbestos he can.

 

https://twitter.com/Daimler/status/1189929797872427008

Their radiator megalomania needs to die. Not a jibe at BMW's usual design prowess.

 

Seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “what’ll ya have?”

Seal replies, “Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks!”

 

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail.

But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.

 

How many Karens did it take to screw in a light bulb?

One.

She just holds the light bulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her.