Joke Thread!

"The earth is flat."

 

I have one for you :

"Puerto Rico votes to be 51st state. . ."



http://money.cnn.com/2017/06/12/news/economy/puerto-rico-june-11-statehood-vote/index.html

Not that it would ever happen anyway, but this sort of stupidity would be reason enough to toss the idea regardless.

 

http://www.pushtrumpoffacliffagain.com/

 

An Italian Boy's Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"'Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads!"

 

What's E.T short for?

Spoiler

He's got little legs.

 

From a book of jokes, 1940.