Girlfriends...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by The Happy Swede, Jan 22, 2012.

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  1. The Happy Swede

    The Happy Swede Notebook Evangelist

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    :rolleyes:
    So Yeah, i just wanted to talk to yer folks here on NBR, on your experiences with Girlfriends...
    I have been together with my GF for around 4 and a half month now, and i still hold her very dear, though at times i just take a moment to think about the cons and pro´s that comes with having a GF/BF.
    So my GF she had a really hard time at her previous school, before she came to college, because her school was in a really bad area, with a lot of troubled immigrants, so of course when she came to the college im at she was very shy, and dident talk to too many people. That was then, and now im together with her, and she has changed alot and is much more open than before, But i can still feel her insecurities at times, and they can really bother me.. The most common one is that at most times, i have to go to her and not other wise, and if i dont go over to her she will just stay away, and when i then go up to her and ask her why, she says "Well i dident want to go over to you, because since you dident come over to me i though you dident want my company.." -.-' Then i most of the time proceed to tell her, that if i dident want her company i would not have been with her for 4 months.. and she is definitively improving, but sometimes i wondered if it was worth having a GF with the "not so good" stuff that comes with it.. So what do you guys think? How has your experience with GF´s been, do you have one? have you never had one? are you trying to get one? just share your general stuff about your opinions of GF´s and stuff related.
    On another question, if you have a GF, what do you do when you are together with her? what do you do on dates. Im making this thread because i remember having a VERY long conversation with 2 friends about this topic, and i would find it interesting to her your opinion about it! Ohh yeah, another thing is, how do you get women? i mean this thread is for everything in that sense ;)

    And i would also like your opinion on another problem, i have asked around 4 of my women friends, about a problem my best friend has, if you know the term "friend zoned", well thats basicly it, a mutual friend of ours, is really good friends with my best friend, and he wants to be more than friends, but she doesent think he wants anything like that, how would you guys proceed with that?

    Ohh, and i know this thread is somewhat of a mess.. But i just wanted to start with some of my thoughs, and some questions... This thread isent limited to one thing, its just general discussion about women and GF´s...
     
  2. Tree_Burner

    Tree_Burner Notebook Deity

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    First of all, I'd like to say I've been with my girlfriend for three and a half years.

    Second, how often do these insecurities come out? I know from personal experience (me being the insecure one, I don't have the best history with self image) that these things take time. If you really like the girl and care about her enough to stay, then it's definitely worth it to stay, but if you find yourself wanting to get away and seeking time to do what YOU want to do then maybe it's time to seek life changes.

    Usually when me and my girlfriend hang out we (both being in the digital media field, her in film making and me in Audio production) enjoy watching movies and t.v. shows together, going on hikes, taking pictures. We hang out with other people a bit too. On dates, seeing as we are both in college and don't have a lot of money, we usually just do dinner and a movie, sometimes go to things like photo exhibits or similar stuff. Since we've been together for so long we just kind of do everything together.
     
  3. The Happy Swede

    The Happy Swede Notebook Evangelist

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    Well its not like its spikes of insecurities, its more like a general thing, that i am the initiative taker of us, she also always want me to take the decisions, and she is worried that if she does something like if she were to go over to me more and show that she wants to be with me more, that i would want to leave her or think that she is being to sticky.. So its more that i have to tell her to take initiative, and show that she likes me some more, because i know her enough to know that she loves me, and she also told me that no matter what happens she would be here for me in the end, and i know thats not a lie. But on the other hand, if i were to leave her, she wouldent try to stop it, she would just go cry or something, and that is again a sign of her insecurity... But again, i care for her enough to stay and try to make the small changes towards, what i consider perfect :) And i also told her, that if it really bothered me that much and if i really dident like her enough, then why would i have stayed this long? so yeah, im holding on, and its just these small things that needs work done :)

    And for the other thing, Yeah me and my GF usually just hang out at my place, watching series, movies, playing video games, drawing and listening to music, we also enjoy going to town to hang out and see stuff :) And for the dates we have been on, its also mostly just a day in town, with some dinner a movie or something in that direction :) And i have to say that i like this one a lot more than the previous GF´s i have had :D And even though i seem to complain about that problem, we are very close :)
     
  4. killkenny1

    killkenny1 Too weird to live, too rare to die.

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    ...who needs 'em :D.
    Women's logic, that's my friend something you'll have to deal with, if you want a long term relationship.

    I'm usually "that guy" who gives advices (sometimes even good :D:D:D), even though never had a GF.

    Let me start by saying a tech forum is never a good place to seek advice on GF issues, cuz you never know what kind of weirdos there are in such places :D.

    Now, that part where you say your GF isn't very open, it sounds a bit like me. I myself am quite a closed inside person, until someone befriends me, then I' pretty much communicate openly, so maybe your GF is the same like me. Being your GF doesn't always mean she's your best friend.
    What do you usually do together? <- answered

    Also I hope my future stupid advices won't ruin your relationship :D:D:D.

    EDIT: forgot to ask, what originally attracted you to her?
     
  5. The Happy Swede

    The Happy Swede Notebook Evangelist

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    Well to begin with im glad for all yer replies :D but im actually not seeking "advice" im just discussing the topic of girlfriends, and then expressed one of the issues ive had with mine :) But yeah, remember to always take advice with a tad of criticism! :D But my girlfriend is actually VERY open with me once i actually ask her about the things, and im rather sure that im one of the persons she trusts the most, she even trusts me more than her best friend through the entire pre college time.. But the main thing was that she was very closed in the beginning and that she doesent take as much initiative as she perhaps should.. But im just going to address it when it bothers me and then hope that she will have a tad more initiative... hmm... the key word here, really is "initiative"... : /
     
  6. Kuu

    Kuu That Quiet Person

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    I've gone through the girlfriend thing enough time already where I've started losing count of how many I've actually had, last time I counted it was 8, but before that it was 11, so... ._.

    I'm kind of at the point where if I think a girl only wants to be friends with me I sort of just ignore/not deal with them, because I'll usually end up being asked to do favors for them and not really get anything out of it (aside from a loss of time). Then again this kind of applies to almost everyone I've met over the last few years...



    ._.
     
  7. killkenny1

    killkenny1 Too weird to live, too rare to die.

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    FAIL. Misunderstood the reason of the topic.
    Was kinda TL;DR, now I see it
    Leaving in 5...4...3... :D:D:D
     
  8. The Happy Swede

    The Happy Swede Notebook Evangelist

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    @Blaze Yeah i know the feeling... But then again, when you then meet a girl thats worth having a long term with its rather nice!

    @Killkenny1 Well.... ! stop! :D I mean its not only for those who have had! Its also for those who wants one, and generally just discussing it! So you can stay as long as you want! You made some nice points!
     
  9. Kuu

    Kuu That Quiet Person

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    The only thing I've learned is that while I fall for girls easily enough, I don't actually trust any of them anymore.
     
  10. The Happy Swede

    The Happy Swede Notebook Evangelist

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    Well now i dont wanna be all like "You just gotta find the one and only", But finding a girl, and having a stable relationship with her could be good on that front. But sometimes a long term relationship is not always the best hing ;) :)
     
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